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Smokin’ AcesDirector: Joe Carnahan Rating: 3.5 out of 5 If you were to take MTV and combine it with The Prestige, Goodfellas and anything made by Guy Ritchie (except that Swept Away rubbish), then you’d get something that looked as much like Smokin’ Aces, as the once Mr Ben Affleck Lopez looks like a 70’s version of Bruce Springsteen in this flick. Or so I’m guessing. What would I know about making movies and whatever? I just like to watch ‘em. And this is one I liked to watch. It’s a convoluted epic ‘bout a wanna-be wiseguy magician and his rise through the organised-crime ranks. As normally befalls this type of upstart goodfella, he gets a contract placed on his head and, as the story goes, a handful of assassins hunt him down. The FBI is also after him, and a bail bondsman who looks remarkably like Ben Affleck with porno-mo. This is a boys movie is what. You’ve got as much chance of getting your missus to like this as she has of getting you to hold down lunch while sittin’ through The Lakehouse. This is one of ‘dem snappy movies where every scene is punchy and the thing flies past at a rate of knots as if the producers stole the storyline and are now trying to get every scene over with before someone in the audience realises it was their idea. “Hey… wait a minute. I think that witty retort, plot twist or general narrative may have been lifted from … Oh it’s over. Never mind.” Smokin’ Aces also provides some great film-making ideas for folks to go about ripping off when they are putting together their cousin’s 21st video. I obviously have heaps of these ideas, but if you’re still struggling to make last year’s Christmas look like anything other than a dog’s breakfast, then perhaps you could throw in some still-frames, a couple ‘o jump cuts of kids unwrapping over-priced gifts they don’t need, and add some slow-mo, smoke filled shots of the Turkey being sliced like my man Carnahan. Verbatim: In a word: Over-cooked Wife-o-metre: 1
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