Mr Bean’s Holiday

By: The Dude

Director: Steve Bendelack
Cast: Rowan Atkinson, Steve Pemberton, Preston Nyman,
Rating: 1.5 out of 5

Righto, I’m all for having a belly laugh at the exploits of a socially handicapped Mr Bean. What with the turkey on his head that time, the funny little car, and the falling asleep in church and all that. But let me save you the hassle of watching this movie. It’s rubbish. You very welcome.

I have to say – and I’m trying to put this as gently as I can – this movie is as painful as having your aggots trod on while milking a cow.

I mean c’mon Mr Bean and Mr Atkinson. How many times do you expect us to watch this knob balls things up in the most obvious of ways. Bean’s stupidity is measured not by what trouble he gets into, but by the mere fact that everyone watching, three kids sleeping in the next room, and my pet rabbit who was at a friends house saw what was about to happen before he did.

As such, this here flick rates as about the most frustrating piece o’ cinema since Paris Hilton in Pledge This.

It’s about the time Mr Bean wins a church raffle and gets a free trip to the home of the French stick, French fries and Pepe Le Pew. No, not Orlando - it’s Paris. What transpires in the land of snails and frog’s legs is one Funniest Home Videos sequence after another as Bean bumbles his way through train rides, restaurants and markets.

Hilarity ensues only briefly however, considering most of us have seen all the gags before. Perhaps if messers Bean and Atkinson had worked on some new material, or even thrown in a couple o’ crowd pleasing one liners like what The Dude seen Saw III. Or maybe, they shoulda tossed in the odd funny accent like that Michelangelo Di Caprio had in the Blood Diamond comedy. That woulda worked.

I reckon even a giant fat suit and a dress ala Norbit woulda produced a laugh or two more than slight giggle that came when the best bit of the movie unfolded (see Verbatim below).

What’s annoying The Dude most is I actually like Rowan Atkinson. I’m a bit of a fan you might even say. It’s just that the only laughs I’ve got from a bean lately was when I fed my last dog some of the baked variety that had him scraping his butt across the lawn for two days.

Verbatim:
Waitress: “You speak very good French.”
Mr Bean: “Gracias!”