The Dudewife-o-meter 3

Dreamgirls

By: The Dude

Director: Bill Condon
Cast: Jamie Foxx, Beyonce Knowles, Eddie Murphy, Danny Glover, Jennifer Hudson
Rating: 2 out of 5

A movie like Dreamgirls is always going to raise a lot of questions, like was it really based on the Supremes? Did Jennifer Hudson deserve an Oscar for her performance? How can Eddie Murphy go from this brilliant performance to Norbit? But the main one concerning The Dude … what were the movie critics who praised this thing on when they saw it?

It’s a musical, yeah. Grease aside (which The Dude dutifully admits is a toe-tapper), when was the last time you saw a decent musical on the silver screen?

The DreamsThis one is about the Dreamettes, a 1962 version of the Spice Girls, who become the Dreams once one of the girls wins American Idol, and another one starts Destiny’s Child and then stars in a few movies including one about a 1960s spy, and another about the Dreamettes, a 1962 version of the Spice Girls… and so on and so forth.

Okay, so let's call a spade a spade - Beyonce is hot in this. But the movie is basically a musical version of Rocky – except there’s no boxing, slabs of meat, it’s not set in Philadelphia, and Micky is not in it. But you know what I mean. Someone (in this case the Dreamettes) gets a crack at the big time, gets sage advice from their mentor (Jamie Foxx standing in for Mick), takes on the reigning star, becomes enticed by the glamour and fame, loses their best friend to a giant Russian, and finally comes out of retirement at 60 to prove a computer game right.

If Rocky had spent his money on singing and elocutions lessons instead of steroids and gym memberships, then perhaps we would have him singing a musical version of Balboa. It would have been better than Dreamgirls.

Verbatim:
James ‘Thunder’ Early: “[singing] Jimmy got, Jimmy got, Jimmy got SOUL!”

In a word: Off-key

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